- VISUAL ART -

STONER/SOBER/

THEY-THEM

Samson Harman

CONTENT WARNING: SUBSTANCE ABUSE

I've had a hard time imagining the longevity of my life since youth. There was no one else like me—or so I thought—others who might like the same gender, others whose gender breached what I knew to be possible. When I started to use in high school, the company of friends I kept all turned out to be queer, perhaps by coincidence, though, more likely due to circumstance.

 

Using took time and brought it to a standstill; my only concern was to keep the high lasting, and the sentiment was shared. My queerness and being stoned were tangled as I navigated the world as openly trans at 17, quietly using marijuana to cope with navigating the unknown.

 

The sober time I have now has taught me more about myself in a few short months than all my years combined. I faced my stoner identity and called it by its name: addiction. There was no choice really—I could not keep living and using, I was burned to the end of my wick.

 

The magic of sobriety is that I am now capable of turning to myself with love. I am capable of being of service to the world. I look to those with decades under their belt and strive towards that time, searching not for the number, but for the confidence to reach my fullest potential.

Samson Harman Nat. Brut

Samson Harman is a 23 year old multi-media artist living in Portland, Oregon. They self-describe as a 'sensitive plant' and love being outdoors.